At a recent family gathering, a two-year old and a three-year old were playing together - and nicely, too. The question came up about how are the children related. Understanding cousin relationships can be confusing, especially when you add terms like "second" or "third" and "removed."

When you want to determine relationship, first figure out the common relative. This may be a grandmother or great-great-grandmother. In the case of the children, their common ancestor was the great-great-great-grandfather (third great-grandfather) of the two-year old and the great- great-grandfather (second great-grandfather) of the three-year old. At this point, it is tempting to say the children are cousins and to leave it at that. For the brave at heart, we can figure out the exact relationship.

We'll start with a simpler situation and plot out the direct lineage from a common ancestor. Let's say you and a cousin share a great-grandmother. It will look like this:

. . . . . . . . . Great-grandmother . . . . . . .
. . . . . . | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | . . .
. . . Your . . . . . [siblings] . . . . .Their
. . . Grandmother . . . . . . . . . . . Grandmother
. . . . . . | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | . . .
. . . Your . . . . [1st cousins] . . . Their
. . . Mother . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mother
. . . . . . | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | . . .
. . . You . . . . [2nd cousins] . . . Them

As you go down each generation, you add one to the cousin relationship. If you started with great-great-grandmothers, then you and your cousin would be third cousins.

Use the chart again and figure out what is your relationship to your second cousin's mother. Your mother and the cousin's mother are first cousins, and you are removed [one generation down] from their relationship. You are first cousins, once removed.

There is an uneven relationship for the children. The common ancestor is the third great-grandfather for one and the second great-grandfather for the other. Working out the chart, we find they are third cousins, once removed. We're not going to confuse them with this information. We'll tell them they are cousins. When they get older and start doing family history, then we can tell them.

There are a number of kinship charts on the Internet. One of the easiest to use is the " Relativity Chart".

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© 2002-2008

Connie Lenzen, CG

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